The Big D – and the Change.

Depression.

                                     

I have been struggling for years with this disease (as I call it). It overran my life. I woke up in the mornings dreading the day that was laying ahead, and evenings when I had to go to bed I was already dreading the next morning I had to wake up again.
I would do anything to feel better. Anything.
The anxiety equipped with the depression would suffocate me.
I was miserable beyond compare – and alone.
I turned everywhere I could for help, but somehow, there was no one. No one listened. I overdosed on sleeping pills – fortunately as hair-brained as I am sometimes, my attempt failed. I slept nearly two days straight without getting out of bed as a result. I started to turn to alcohol, but dropped it as soon as I started. I had a little boy who needed his mommy – but my problems overran everything else that was important.
I felt like a failure. I couldn’t find anything I wanted to do with my life; I felt like a horrible mother, and disappointment to my family and friends.  I was miserable.

I woke up one day realizing no one is going to help me, no one will fix me. I had to do it myself. I realized this will be the hardest thing to do. How do I make myself better? How do I love myself again when I have loathed myself my entire life? Where do I start?
I was completely clueless, but I knew I had to do something. This was the fight for my life.
I read self-help books, followed guides, read blogs and web pages. I admit to even resulting to reading the book Depression for Dummies (yes, I was a depression dummy indeed). Even though they were helpful and extremely informative, I still missed something. Despite my own issues, I craved to help others. It made me feel good, and in the process I learned that my problems are nothing compared to others.

This is the reason behind why I started this blog. My goal is to inspire and motivate people to a better way of living.This blog is mainly focused on real-life obstacles people had to overcome in their life, inspirational stories, guides and much more.

With Love, Avaline.